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Pick of the Month

Pick of… best of 2016

31st December 2016

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Here’s my grab-bag pick of the best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness of the year. A round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.

Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and sincerely expressing my thanks for all visitors and wishing all a happy Near Year.

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Pick of the year’s best stories & pics

Celeb stories

February

February saw…

And, probably doing as much as “fake news” or as little as J.Lo sticking her arse out to twerk for she-of-the-pant-suit-who-must-not-be-named to help elderly, worried and increasing conservative in conspiracy dungarees America long for the return of the big-hair 80s and elect an opportunist greedy fat tycoon in a tangerine syrup to represent them by the end of the year.

SelGo & Swift, “Same Old Love”
So “sick of that same old love”—and lack of musical progression media erection it seemingly receives—SelGo, with those “hands to herself” seemingly still giving more “rise” than Taylor’s “shake it off” could give.

March

The uncensored being found in her Selfish selfies coffee-table book, for which she apparently employs a professional “selfie” photog to take (Latest Picks 26th May 2015)—but, to rain on parade of the Kadie haters, her’s are not the only “orchestrated”, that famous 2014 Oscars Ellen et al. being her work too, apparently.

And, in a year which finally saw her cast off her Disney dues—although tabloid interest seeing remaining potential in keeping reminding with headlines of “Isn’t she grown up!” nature:

With much more to come—but seemingly ever tantalisingly just not enough—before the year was out.

Vanessa Hudgens—“Summer at Beaver Creek”
Well, it seemed to have been shorn in those last leaks but with Spring Breakers not quite delivering on the goods some may have hoped in place of plot, to seemingly follow Hollywood film producers thinking, a reboot with a slight curl in location, take, packaging and perhaps genre…

May

Did May deliver an opportunist grope, old flame still burning, or sly plot by she who gets to decide on which day all wear pink Mean Girls Moriartess to spite her real “Bad Blood” rival?

Kendall Jenner—“Gangs All Here”
Kendall Jenner, “Gangs All Here”; and thankfully all out too.

June

While…

Indeed, seemingly rather obsessive laying naked next to Swift in fame crowded bed there, but spare a though for RiRi and who’s tangerine rump she was laid next too.

Demi Lovato—The Future Now
As delightfully spontaneously Confident as she often now gets, it could indeed be a bared bright future!

July

With another “Confident” year, Demi Lovato let her “Body Say”

Demi Lovato, “Body Say”

August

August saw…

Sadly, illness would make her cancel the rest of the tour.

Kylie Jenner—Endorsement Poke
For sure, as well as waist-trainers when endorsement is your business what can be more honest than advertising the very thing much of your picture-viewing demographic are actually thinking.

October

Leading many to knee-jerk believe it was a hoax for an upcoming episode of KUWTK, most to believe it was an inside job and, alas, practically all to believe it was somehow her fault.

Ariana Grande Halloween
A she-devil of a time with a “dangerous woman”.

November


.:: Top column 2 ::.
Jennifer Lopez—Booty Bend
Jennifer Lopez—Booty Bend. Now resident in Vegas!

Oops! Best wardrobe malfunction

January

Not quite a wardrobe malfunction as in fact she wasn’t wearing any wardrobe but, thankfully moving on from that fight regardless, January saw…

February

February saw…

March

March saw, as did we all…

May

June

June saw…

August

August saw…

November

Kylie Jenner—Tentacle Trope
For sure, you can’t avoid them in internet pop culture, even if Japan did apologise. Tentacle Trope (Wikipedia).

Leaked pictures & sex tapes

April

April saw…

November

November saw…

December

And indeed, why bloody should she, unless for some humiliation is a integral part of the thrill when reading or looking for celebrity pictures rather than at shiny rods in Angling Times.

Charli XCX, Rita Ora—Shared Pride
Double ended solidarity!

Arts, culture, tech. tragedy & funnies

January

January saw Mexico’s, and certainly America’s most wanted when not funding by buying product, captured… again, seemingly with the unintentional journalistic interview ambition help of Sean Penn.

February

February had Apple take a stand against surveillance and for privacy—as well as customer brand confidence—by refusing to help crack terrorist iPhone.

An issue until they purchased a 120 quid gizmo at a Fone Fun Shop that could do it in six hours, with seemingly not affecting customer confidence suggesting the branding and its social Joneses oneupmanship is indeed the most important thing.

March

March told what will be happening on the road while you read targeted ads in the back of Google’s driverless car.

Indeed, and at 2mph.

June

June saw, or rather heard, well, at least Facebook did:

For the purpose of selling you stuff you didn’t know you ad-revenue needed of course, to keep the internet free.

August

August saw Apple rebrand its stores as “community hubs with a boutique vibe.”

But while that may give some a warm “community glow” while spending money on the brand in the States, it’s not seemed so popular in Europe and particularly gigantic Asian tiger China—where most of those branded products are made and where some—indeed many, perhaps more than in the States—now have the money to vent their frustration.

And finally, those we will miss…

This year sadly the following passed on.

January

April

June

December

That’s it


XXXtina—Personal share

So there you have it, those were my picks of the year. Did I miss anything? If you feel so, please let me know. Wishing you a wonderful start to 2017!

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Tags: Amanda Seyfried, Ariel Winter, Bella Thorne, Beyonce, Chrissy Teigen, Emily Ratajkowski, Gigi Hadid, Hailee Steinfeld, Katy Perry, Kendall Jenner, Kim Kardashian, Kylie Jenner, Lady Gaga, Lucy Hale, Maisie Williams, Mariah Carey, Margot Robbie, Miley Cyrus, Rita Ora, Ronda Rousey, Rose McGowan, Selena Gomez, Sofia Richie, Taylor Swift.

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Disclaimer:

Illustrations, paintings, and cartoons featuring caricatured celebrities are intended purely as parody and fantasised depictions often relating to a particular news story, and often parodying said story and the media and pop cultural representation of said celebrity as much as anything else. Who am I really satirising? Read more.

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