Pick of the week
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Here's my grab-bag pick of last weeks best celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment sexiness, & just plain quirky stories and pictures. A weekly round-up for busy pervs! There's pictures—reading optional.
Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and are, as always, a pure case of artistic extression, and nothing more no matter what I'm smoking.
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This weeks stories & pics
Vanessa Hudgens revealed her leaked nude pics were her "worst moment" (huffingtonpost.com).
"The former Disney star is perhaps better known for the nude photos that leaked in 2007, when she was just 18, than any of her legitimate projects."
No apology necessary, they were a very good moment for the rest of us. Alas, the second set of self-shot nudes leaked in 2011 which featured a legs spread very hairy bush diddle was only shown censored due questions regarding age when taken and lawyers very hot on the case second time around. Despite their best legal efforts, all are still available here (hecklerspray.com).
Here's cheeky Nessa in photo outtakes for Paper (celebritytonguedigest.blogspot.co.uk, link updated) …
And showing a lotta cleavage at the Spring Breakers premiere in Paris (vanessa-annehudgens.com, link updated).
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Kardashian Corp. ™ banked on Rob's breakup with Rita Ora. (dailymail.co.uk).
"Kourtney, Kim and Khloe chimed in as Rob and Rita embarked on a Twitter war and tried to give him advice. […] He said: 'I hope your sex tape haunts you for the rest of your life and I'm going to publicly bash you and Kanye.'"
After which Kanye retired to tailor something less ghetto in case he ever gets the chance to haunt a sex tape too.
Meanwhile, feuding Rihanna and Rita Ora had Britain's new young top model Cara Delevingne—Rita's "wifey"—share them both (uk.omg.yahoo.com).
Okay, I'm sure you can fill in the fantasy blanks there yourself, and have a jolly good time doing it.
Cara's carazy fashion week (thesun.co.uk).
Unsated, Rihanna went on to get nawty with a nude Kate Moss for V Magazine (dailymail.co.uk).
Oh, and then controversial dissident feminist Camille Paglia compared Rihanna with Princess Di (dailymail.co.uk).
"[…] Paglia added that both women were victims of a 'festering romantic triangle' and had transformed themselves from 'sensitive, wounded, but appealingly bubbly and good-natured provincial girls' into living sculptures for the lens."
Blimey! I don't like the sound of that festering triangle bit! Don't drive through any Parisian tunnels, RiRi!
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Tulisa Contostavlos facing the X Factor axe? (thesun.co.uk).
"Cowell is poised to deliver the bombshell as the former N-Dubz singer pays the price for the talent show's ratings slide."
Ratings, yep. Then again Simon did fire Brit-Brit out the crazy-cannon from X Factor USA for ratings with the hope of getting a handjob from Kate Moss for the next series.
Alas, his Quagmiring may be to no avail as, it's official, Sun readers want Cheryl Cole back! (thesun.co.uk).
"Over 1,600 people cast a vote for the Geordie songbird in our Sun Online poll making it clear you want her to return to the role she left in 2010. "
Done deal then, because every one of those 1,600 no-nonsense Sun readers had tickets for the Girls Aloud reunion (dailymail.co.uk) and for two weeks at Butlins in the summer!
Here's the pics of Girls Aloud reunion in Newcastle (gotceleb.com).
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Lindsay Lohan lost lawsuit against rapper Pitbull (tmz.com).
"[…] New York federal judge sided with Pitbull … ruling that Lindsay is dead wrong on the law—because the song is a work of art protected by the 1st amendment PLUS Lindsay's barely even mentioned in it."
Well, I've something of a penchant for artistic expression of Li-Lo too but I can;t help it if she just occasionally looks like something I draw.
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Megan Fox signed on for Michael Bay's Ninja Turtles film (movies.uk.msn.com).
"[…] Megan will play the female lead of April O'Neil in the live-action CG hybrid movie."
Have Bay's crew forgiven her or is she getting the trailor with the perpetual clog-job plumbing? Is the ghost of the bipolar Marilyn tattoo banned from set?
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Karlie Kloss gave some ass'tastic candids for Victoria's Secret in Miami (hotcelebshome.com, link dead, apologies).
Irina Shayk was a yummy Beach Bunny (hotcelebshome.com, link dead, apologies).
Claudia Romani showed Miami how European football should be (hotcelebshome.com, link dead, apologies).
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.:: Top column 2 ::.
Octomom Nadya Suleman did her stripper stint in Florida (egotastic.com).
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Holly Willoughby took her 34DDs to the Brits after-party (thesun.co.uk).
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Courtney Stodden slipped a nip in "Reality" music video (egotastic.com).
"Well, while this is largely areola", yeah, but what a large areola!
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Bodyguard who sued Britney Spears for sexual harassment is now a ghost buster (tmz.com).
"[Fernando Flores] hasn't been in the specter business for long, but swears he's already captured some crazy stuff—including 'some pretty creepy voices.'"
What, ones he made himself?
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Arts, tech. & funnies
Women could face jail if they expose their nipples in North Carolina (metro.co.uk).
"There are communities across this state, there's local governments across this state, and also local law enforcement for whom this issue is really not a laughing matter."
Is anything a laughing matter for them?
Nude cooking blog sparks starkers kitchen craze (thesun.co.uk).
"Proud pals Greta, Jess and Luke, from Manchester, came up with the idea as a way of making their new vegan recipes website stand out from the crowd."
Anger was roused as Banksy Poundland mural ripped from wall and set for auction in Miami (independent.co.uk) …
"A stencil by guerrilla street artist Banksy which appeared just before the Queen's Diamond Jubilee has disappeared from a wall in North London and is being auctioned in Miami for as much as £450,000."
But the mystery seller got cold feet and withdrew from auction at the 11th hour (news.uk.msn.com)
The whole affair prompted The Guardian's art critic Jonathan Jones to wade in with his verdict on Banksy (guardian.co.uk).
"Banksy is an artist who only exists in the eye of the public. This is literally true. There is no one called Banksy—it is, famously, the pseudonym of an artist who wishes to remain anonymous. But it is also true as a description of his work's dependence on fame: take away the mystique of media attention and it turns to dust like a vampire at dawn."
Ouch!
The Sincura Group, who are auctioning the piece, know exactly where to aim.
“… there was a chance the work would leave the UK unless an ‘angel’ bought it and put it in a museum.”
Yes, tug at those nationalistic threads, as polititions already have, with Ms Featherstone, Liberal Democrat MP for Hornsey and Wood Green deploring:
“You have deprived a community of an asset that was given to us for free and greatly enhanced an area that needed it.”
It was suspected the work had been stolen when it disappeared, but interestingly the Metropolitan Police said there were “no reports of any theft”.
Poundland made it clear that it does not own the building from which it was removed, but who ever does obviously wishes Banksy would “deface” much more of their property.
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Salvador Dali work stolen, then returned by mail (news.sky.com).
"As soon as he had stolen the work, he 'was scared and couldn't believe what a stupid thing he did,' […]"
Damien Hirst painted a red nose on his skull for Comic Relief (celebrity.uk.msn.com).
"Damien Hirst has been creating art for charity's sake with a new version of his wallet-busting artwork For The Love Of God."
For non-UK visitors, Comic Relief is an annual television charity event to raise funds for those in poverty world-wide. You can find out more at the official site. Comic Relief: a world free from poverty (comicrelief.com).
Oh yes, and they are an agent to a great friend of mine.
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Google Glass video shows tech specs in action (independent.co.uk).
"You've probably heard that Google are soon to release their own glasses. These specs aren't for that ancient business of correcting vision, though; they wrap a wearable computer around users' heads, offering the chance to text, phone and film on the go."
I'll leave you to figure out some of the POV potential that Google-guy Matt Cutts will have all the fun in the world filtering for you in exchange for one of his missus' cookies. I suspect they blind you unless you sign in with your Google+ Real-name too.
Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.
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