Pick of the Week
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Here’s my grab-bag pick of last weeks best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A weekly round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.
Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and deffo supporting that new fashion trend!
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Last weeks best stories & pics
Iggy Azalea gave some oops exposure at MTV EMAs in Amsterdam (mailonsunday.co.uk).
“The outfit had a giant split up the front which Iggy pulled to one side … [exposing] a little too much as she only had tiny flesh-coloured pants on underneath….”
You can catch Iggy’s Amsterdam EMA oops piccies here (egotastic.com)…
And plenty of tongue! (celebritytonguedigest
.blogspot.co.uk)
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Miley Cyrus claimed she’s “one of the biggest feminists” (bbc.co.uk).
“I feel like I'm one of the biggest feminists in the world because I tell women to not be scared of anything….”
But “like, a 108 pound one” with “the flattest ass ever.” I guess (Pick of the Week 2nd October), and one not getting a difficult brown strapon from Sinead O’Connor for Christmas.
It didn’t cut it with Lily Allen either, who saw fit to satirise her twerking and hammer head lickin’ in her “Hard Out Here” comeback video (music.uk.msn.com).
“She mocks everything that is deemed ridiculous in the entertainment industry today, but in a way that is still funny and charismatic and without making her look boring or like a nag.”
Quite, but is Lily’s beef really with the beef-bashing over pop diva performances? Sad truth behind Lily Allen’s controversial return: her clothing firm set up with sister Sarah has gone BUST (dailymail.co.uk).
“…it seems that singer Lily Allen’s successful return to the world of music has come at the perfect time—for her much-hyped bid to become a big name on the high street has ended in failure.”
Well, at least that suggestively sucked bananna went satirically nowhere near her elegantly attired bottom (showbizspy.com).
BRIT Award winning singer Gabrielle saw fit to stand by Miley’s selling-sexuality though (music.uk.msn.com).
“Madonna did it before her, Gaga’s doing it now. Let’s face it, Beyonce, as gorgeous and multi-talented as she is, she’s done a video in her underwear. I didn’t see anyone moaning about that.”
No, nor do I, nor do I! All pop divas can be filmed in their undies and I wont moan a bit—well, not in that way.
Here’s Miley giving it some exquisite feminist tongue at the MTV Europe Music Awards 2013 in Amsterdam (hotcelebshome.com).
“She’s funny, witty and clever, I love what she does. I think her and Lorde’s album have had the most plays in my car this year. I never went on record saying the video was a direct pop at her—it wasn’t. … She’s probably way too busy for someone like me but yeah, I’d welcome the opportunity to work with her.”
Nods.
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Selena Gomez performed on the X-Factor in Hollywood (hawtcelebs.com).
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Jennifer Lawrence gave side boob at The Hunger Games: Catching Fire premiere in Paris (hotcelebshome.com).
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2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show
Taylor Swift kicked off Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in a Union flag-print top hat and mini-dress on the catwalk (dailymail.co.uk)…
With the Daily Mail gushing:
“The country-pop starlet—who turns 24 next month—paraded her lean 5ft 10in frame in the paint-splattered costume and matching open-toe booties.”
Before splattering it with a copious coating of something else.
Here’s more of Taylor’s lean 5ft 10in frame in splattered Union flag-print top hat and mini-dress and otherwise (hotcelebshome.com).
Taking to the runway…
Karlie Kloss (imgcelebs.info)…
And we’ll pull out this one of Cara from the above just… just because I have an obvious liking for football those are nice shorts.
Here’s those models and more backstage (hotcelebshome.com).
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Oops! Nina Agdal slipped a tittie for Bebe’s Spring 2014 campaign (imgcelebs.info).
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.:: Top column 2 ::.
Bad angle, bad light or Kim Kardashian’s ass grew an ass of its own (thesuperficial.com).
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Aubrey O’Day posted crack to Instagram (thesuperficial.com).
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Side bum is fashion’s new trend (style.uk.msn.com).
“Forget last year’s ‘side boob’ phenomenon—the hottest part of the body to flash right now is the derrière.”
Last year’s? Oh, c’mon, side boob has been trending a lot longer than that (funnyjunk.com).
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I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here installed jungle power showers which can “blow the babes’ bikinis off” (dailystar.co.uk).
“The producers told me ‘We want enough water to blow the girls’ bikinis off’.”
Moving out of the jungle and into Butlins Pig and Whistle next year.
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Arts, culture, tech. & funnies
Cambridge University students stage their own Rear of the Year competition (web.orange.co.uk).
“Five women and five men were photographed from behind for the competition, which is decided by their peers voting online.”
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Lady Gaga and Jeff Koons logomark on USA Today (digitalartsonline.co.uk).
“The mark was apparently designed by the pop star and artist Jeff Koons, who created Artpop’s cover artwork, in conjunction with the paper’s art team.”
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Francis Bacon fetched record price at auction (bbc.co.uk)…
“The triptych, Three Studies of Lucian Freud (1969), is considered one of Bacon’s greatest masterpieces.”
Mightily impressing The Guardian’s Jonathan Jones (theguardian.com).
“Lucian Freud sits in Bacon’s despairing, yet monstrously vital universe, his face taken apart and remade by Bacon’s brush. He poses in a white shirt, moving about, full of energy. For both of them art is an act of cruel love. You take someone apart on the canvas to know them from the inside.”
“Sheikha Mayassa bint Hamad al-Thani, the sister of Qatar’s emir … who heads the Qatar Museums Authority (QMA) and has a reputation for paying large sums at auctions to guarantee the winning bid, was named yesterday as the buyer by The New York Post….”
Obviously a huge fan of ludicrously expensive status symbols Francis Bacon. Will now create a (wo)man-made island shaped like the middle figure in “Three Studies for Figures at the Base of a Crucifixion” visible from space to house it.
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Give in to the Dark Side with your very own guybrator (wired.co.uk).
“Pulse is based on something called Penile Vibratory Stimulation (PVS), … the device itself can only be described as looking like a Darth Vader helmet for your, er, helmet.”
I dunno; “oscillations applied in a very specific way” sounds a bit like you might be left with a quizzical expression having spraying the ceiling before you’ve leant forward to hit the play button on media player. The designer sees it as more of a “lifestyle product” anyway:
“…he believes that there may be a demand for customised sex toys, incorporating, for example, football club insignia.”
There you go, let the world know you got it on for West Ham!
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Strip club owner buys a house next door to his to flip-off ex-wife and lover with statue (dailymail.co.uk).
“How psychotic do you have to be to buy the house directly next to your ex wife and then put a statue up like that?!?!”
A rather confused story there, and a rather tiny picture: here’s that hand flippin’ the bird a lil’ larger.
Strip club owner and“Topless Prophet” Markovitz—who has been shot twice, had a Mob contract out on his life, been sued by exotic dancers and had an ex-girlfriend drive her Pontiac Fiero through the front door of one of his clubs—is certainly flippin’ it at someone, but
“I’m so over her,” Markovitz said “This is about him. This is about him not being a man.”
“Him” being the man (or not) with whom his ex-wife/former employee/topless dancing property of two years cheated with.
When a friend of said maybe-a-man tweeted that Markovitz’s gesture was making him “look like an idiot,” ex-wife’s daughter who’s tweet brought
this to the attention of the wider-world concurred:
“Like lol someone’s not over my momma!”
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US company defended its cockroach backpack app (uk.msn.com).
“A US company has defended its decision to develop an ‘electronic backpack’ that fits on the back of a cockroach, allowing the insect’s movements to be controlled by a phone app.”
Yep, a real live roach. Despite sandpaper being used to remove the waxy coating on it head, its antennae being cut and electrodes inserted:
“The company said the cockroaches are treated humanely and that the backpack does not harm them.”
Reely?
Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.
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