Pick of the Week
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Here’s my grab-bag pick of last weeks best illustration inspiring celebrity gossip, scandals, arts, entertainment, & just plain quirky stories & picture sexiness. A weekly round-up for busy pervs. There’s pictures—reading optional.
Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and likely in the same quantum superposition as Miley’s tongue until measured.
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This weeks stories & pics
Rihanna has reportedly turned to a psychic and is inseperable from Cara Delevingne (thesun.co.uk).
“She’s worried her fans could turn against her and is also convinced she’ll lose her fame… Cara is the person she turns to for everything these days, especially when she’s feeling down.”
Oh, to be one of those bodyguards rushing to keep up with Cara, clutching a huge strap-on, and new ”wifey” RiRi as they “disappear down stairwells!”
What a dubious seesaw fame, popularity and the difficult Brown is to have driven her to rub the crystal balls of a psychic. We can at least
hope that an excellent Instagram opportunity is
foretold there.
Here’s RiRi braless and see-thru in Stockholm (hotcelebshome.com).
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Miley Cyrus bared all, this time for a good cause (thesun.co.uk).
“Only carefully placed hands and the campaign’s slogan ‘Protect Your Skin’ prevent the singer from exposing her modesty.”
That means exposing her southern territory or her minge, BTW, which she wasn’t at all that modest about last week anyway. What’s with the “this time for a good cause” headline anyway, Current Bun? It’s always a good cause and doesn’t it always makes good copy.
Here’s the bare pic on its own (imgchili.net).
And here’s Miley doing the tongue thing for Fruehstuecksfernsehen (hawtcelebs.com).
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Selena Gomez rented a party bus for her week-plus-long 21st birthday shenanigans (huffingtonpost.com).
Any of you rolling your eyes obviously don’t remember well enough what you go up to—or wished to—on your 21st!
Here’s a horny SelGo celebrating at the Roosevelt hotel in L.A. (gotceleb.com).
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Jennifer Lopez’s culo performed at Premios Juventud in Miami (hawtcelebs.com).
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Kylie Minogue is still keen to show off her famous ass-et (dailymail.co.uk).
“In fact the pint size singer was so keen to show off her famous asset she made sure she got the perfect shot of it so she could then share the perfected picture on social networks.”
Thank you, Kylie! Here’s those pics and more (imgcelebs.info).
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Jennifer Nicole Lee gave pool crack-shots (gotceleb.com).
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Nina Agdal got topless for Euroman (imgcelebs.info).
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Irina Shayk got engines purring in August’s GQ Russia (imgcelebs.info).
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Disgraced Italian P.M. Silvio Berlusconi’s Bunga Bunga girls Barbara Guerra and Alessandra Sorcinelli still grabbing at something, even if it‘s only attention (dailymail.co.uk).
“Earlier this year, both girls were among the 30-odd women who appeared in court documents as authorities investigated Silvio Berlusconi’s sleazy parties in 2011….”
You can give those piccies and more your attention in HQ here (gotceleb.com).
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Amanda Bynes was involuntarily hospitalised after setting her pants on fire and blaming her dog (or something like that anyway) (uk.omg.yahoo.com).
“After the police and fire department had been called, Amanda was questioned by Ventura County Sheriff’s Department deputies who determined that she fit the 5150 hold—meaning that she was involuntarily hospitalised for a mental health evaluation.”
I’ve never set my pants on fire or even had a dog, but I have been sectioned (UK version of 5150) and let me tell you, it is not a pleasant experience. Yup, all the bong-tossin’, boob flashing and invitations to dark sausage to murder her coochie was great fun to read but it’s a shame the ugly, ugly Twitter insults bit couldn’t have been drawn to a close a lot sooner—it certainly wasn’t in Amanda’s best interests although undoubtedly was in Twitters.
Fame and popularity is a helluva drug when it’s dripping away. #GetWellSoonAmandaBynes
But wait. WTF? How the hell did Sam Lutfi get involved with Amanda Bynes? (radaronline.com).
“The two became friends in recent months. ‘It’s very concerning to say the very least, given Sam’s history with Britney Spears leading up to her father, Jamie Spears, getting a conservatorship over his daughter, and getting a restraining order preventing Lutfi from having any contact with her.”
And gave him a right-hander too. When awkward behaviour and wanning success makes others drop you like a stone there is always that certain type of person who’ll “be your friend”, while there’s still anything left in the pot of course.
It is a shame that it is not her recovery that has put her back in the headlines but reference in the developing fued between Miley Cyrus and Sinead O’Connor (dailymail.co.uk).
“Amanda Bynes has responded ‘remarkably well’ to a cocktail of drugs at the psychiatric hospital where she’s being treated for suspected schizophrenia.”
Kind, and wise words from friend and Mariah Carey’s husband Nick Cannon too.
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Jennifer Lawrence, Nina Dobrev, and Adrianne Curry brought skin to Comic-Con (egotastic.com).
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.:: Top column 2 ::.
Lady Gaga posed nude for ARTPOP promo and V magazine (digitalspy.co.uk).
“The ‘Poker Face’ star resurfaced on Twitter to share the naked photo with fans as part of her ARTPOP album campaign.”
Here’s those ARTPOP promos and uncensored nudes for V in HQ (imgchili.net).
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Arts, tech. & funnies
Has Jodi Ellen Malpas written new Fifty Shades of Grey? (uk.msn.com).
“Her protagonist is Jesse Ward, a muscular 6ft 3in ‘love god’ who runs a sex hotel and has an all-consuming affair with his interior designer, Ava O’Shea.”
In common with the Fifty Shades books, Malpas’s women yearn to be dominated by men. Likely it will attract many to heap ridicule and disapproval on “mommy porn” and yet others finding it a vindication of their Gorean fantasies who’ll be readying stocks, cages and a whip in anticipation.
What ever your thoughts on it, the sales certainly confirm its appeal, but I’m curious: is the turn on for women reading such fantasies really of being tied and beat? Why do strong women like to be dominated? (thefrisky.com)
“… studies seem to indicate, … that ladies don’t enjoy the forcefulness itself as much as the idea that an overpowering passion is bubbling over behind that forcefulness.”
Representative of a physically and psychologically dominant paramour rather than a cruel master? And at end-game does this “overpowering bubbling passion” aroused steer a reversal of dominance? For some may say whereas men conquere the world to conquer women, women conquere men to conquer the world.
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Banksy’s stolen salvaged “No Ball Games” mural to sell at auction (telegraph.co.uk).
“‘No Ball Games’ was removed from the side of a shop in Turnpike Lane, Tottenham Green, and will be sold next year by the Sincura Group—the company which arranged the sale of the artist’s “Slave Labour” piece in May.”
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New research reveals Schrödinger’s Cat paradox could be bigger than thought (huffingtonpost.com).
“If the research proves true, that would bolster the validity of a thought experiment suggesting that a cat can be both alive and dead at the same time.”
There you go: and you thought the philosophical notion of idealism was long dead and buried. It should be recalled that Schrödinger himself presented the hypothetical thought experiment to illustrate the absurdity of what the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics proposed and did not believe it himself but it has almost became the de facto introduction to quantum physics.
Updated 8th April 2015.
Story link changed. Unfortunately the original story appears to be in a superposition itself—prehaps alive, prehaps dead—I just can’t bloody find another link to it—but although it does not contain the original quote I recall the new link pretty much contains everything else to do with the story.
British P.M. David Cameron finally gets his porn crackdown to divert attention protect the innocent (dailymail.co.uk).
“By the end of next year, all 19million UK homes currently connected to the net will be contacted by service providers and told they must say whether family-friendly filters that block all porn sites should be switched on or off.”
They can then say “yes”, “no“ or “whatever, he’ll access it by proxy or on Rapidshare anyway”
While I agree wholeheartedly that youth needs to be sheltered from the salacity of the internet as much as possible, I’m also very much a pragmatist on the issue. What I find disturbing though is that the talk seems to make no differentiation between legal and illegal pornography, rather painting it all with the same icky brush even though part of what Cammy is fighting is that pornographic pop culture has to a large degree become mainstream, which he has also rebuked: David Cameron stepping up plans to issue age certificates for raunchy music videos (nme.com).
And the DailyMail—fellow champians of the campaign—is always prepared to bring such shocking raunchy music and oops related stories to our attention in graphic detail. As I’m sure that many acts will be delighted to get an 18+ rating on an album to ramp up sales to 16 year-olds need we ask can the cork really be put back in the bottle?
“…banks and credit card firms will be asked to hold back cash from paying customers of websites hosting explicit, although still legal, material if they are unable to implement restrictions…”
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“To lump everything considered pornography or explicit is unfair. It overlooks the variety and diversity of us all and the diversity of content that the internet provides. Don’t let us become the new Puritans of the 21st Century.”
“We all watch porn; we don’t acknowledge it. Porn exists in a parallel universe, a shadowy otherworld. When you force anything into the shadows and underground, you make it a lot easier for bad things to happen, and a lot harder for good things to happen.”
And you thought she was going to be anti-porn. She’s not, she want’s to “reinvent human sexuality as entertainment in innovative, healthier ways, and turn the British porn industry into something to be proud of” and gives her opinion on what has created the horrors under which Cameron is able to lump all porn:
“The growth of extreme violent porn is not the result of evil, twisted, malignant forces at work within the porn industry. Nor is it the result of an ever more corrupted and depraved user base. It's the result, prosaically, of a bunch of business people terrified they're no longer making money, doing what business people in any sector terrified about not making money do—playing it safe.”
Hear, hear! So has oversaturation pushed boundaries into an ever more novelty cheered corner? Hey, I like some of those novelties though: I’m not quite sure if Cindy’s idea of porn might not be more concerned with O-face expressions and a massage after rather than anything visually up close and personal, but hey, different strokes for and all that.
“Asked about Mr Cameron’s plans, the Wikipedia founder told Channel 4 News: ‘It’s an absolutely ridiculous idea. It won’t work. The software you would use to implement this doesn’t work.”
It’s not about making it work, it’s another punch bag he can whack to distract from the rest of the country’s woes, which indeed the cost of the new legislation won’t help either. Chatting to people in our block’s park today who seem to think that it means porn will be totally banned indicates that his populist right-hook spin is hitting home too. If only he could get all those benefit work-dodgers and immigrants on the hook with those dirty pervs too for a crusading uppercut, huh.
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