Pick of the week
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Here's my pick of last weeks best celebrity gossip, scandals, sexiness, arts, entertainment & just plain quirky stories and pictures. A weekly round-up for busy pervs! Why? It gives me something to flippin' draw on a Sunday night!
Disclaimer: Any comments I make are purely satirical, totally without foundation, and have left the building!
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This weeks stories & pics
Did she jump or was she pushed? Britney Spears quit X Factor USA (celebrity.uk.msn.com).
"In a statement issued on Friday, the pop singer said she had an incredible time working on the US singing contest but that it was time to get back into the studio to record."
The real reason? It was reported two weeks back that Simon Cowell wanted "crazy Britney", but he got "boring Britney." It looks like she, or her management, decided to quit before the blade fell.
Not a good week for Brit-Brit, who broke up with Jason Trawick the next day.
But all is not lost. As well as hitting the studio, Britney could be on the bus to Vegas!
Britney Spears in talks for Las Vegas shows (tmz.com).
"Sources familiar with the situation tell us … Britney and her people are talking about establishing residency for the singer in Sin City and are also in talks with one of the hotels to do a 'big, nightly show.'"
Oh crap! She gonna turn into Elvis!
“She says it’s too small for her and is demanding to know where the pyrotechnics will be, our source says.”
Couldn’t she get exploding boobs à la Lady Gaga (uncyclopedia.wikia.com) which she could then pee on to put them out?
“Reports are saying she’s just signed a lucrative two-year deal in Las Vegas—that is said to be worth around £18m.”
Here’s the Piece of Me Vegas Residency poster (imgchili.net).
I looOove those thighs. ♥
Related story:
Lindsay Lohan's assault case predicted to be dropped (celebrity.uk.msn.com).
Lawyer has "foreseen" there will be no case against the actress in connection with an alleged fight at a Manhattan nightclub—that's the one where she punched the Florida psychic who tried to offer her a "prediction".
So Li-Lo did a no-show in court and stayed on in London (tmz.com) …
But audio tape emerged of her bangin' slammin' co-(porn)star James Deen on the set of The Canyons (examiner.com).
"Deen tries to respond to Lohan, but she cuts him off … saying, 'I didn't say anything, I said just walk over … and do your f**king job.'"
In that scene ready-for-shower Lindsay opens door to mustached Deen who has dropped round to fix her plumming, and oops, the towel slips.
Related stories:
Pamela Anderson was bleary eyed after partying after it was revealed she got paid £1,000 a second for Dancing On Ice stint (dailymail.co.uk).
Supposedly her tittays fell out somewhere on the ice but I damn well couldn't find a snap of that anywhere, but here's her breasts helping Haiti (gotceleb.com).
Jessie J slammed Rihanna's use of Instagram and Twitter (uk.omg.yahoo.com).
"I'm bored… Maybe I should get naked and smoke and take pictures of myself and post them on instagram? Or NOT… *rolls eyes* (sic)"
Ouch! Claws out! I think she's got the hots for RiRi! I've got time to peek, Jessie, if you've really got nothing else to do.
• Jessie J shows off her bikini body on Twitter after criticising Rihanna for same (dailymotion.com).
Related story:
Nicki Minaj's ass did a u-turn, did something to Mariah Carey's (uk.omg.yahoo.com).
You may recall Nicki allegedly threatening to shoot Mariah during the filming of American Idol, but the pair seem to have patted asses with Nicki insisting "I say nice things about Mariah all the time. She's one of my favourite artists of all times."
That's a "Ninja-ass" Nicki trick lurring MiMi "Cans" Carey into a false sence of security I'll bet. I'm voting for them to be on Deadliest Warrior!
Charlie Sheen made Georgia Jones a Goddess! (tmz.com).
"… Charlie especially likes Georgia because she only does girl-on-girl porn—unlike his former goddess Bree Olson (2008 AVN award winner for best anal sex scene)."
But I've seen her licking fellow porn-star and American Apparal girl Faye Reagan's ass! Jolly nice too!
.:: Top column 2 ::.
Will I be able to wait two more months to see Spring Breakers? (egotastic.com).
Me neither. I wanna see more blonde Nessa in that bikini! ♥ However, there's another very, very interesting promo shot (hotcelebshome.com).
Australian model Sophie Turner gave her exquisite ass a nice workout at Santa Monica Beach (hotcelebuzz.com).
Candice Swanepoel, Natasha Poly and Isabeli Fontana were pin-up perfection for Juicy Couture (hotcelebuzz.com).
The 2013 People's Choice Awards (globalgrind.com) was last week and there was lots to choose from, but I found I was really short of time for this weeks pick and was going to totally ignore it, even though I could make lots of innuendo from pop-divas holding phallic awards.
But, well, I'm a huge Christina Aguilera fan as you may know, so I could hardly let these miss this weeks pick. Apologies if I've missed your favourite receiving her phallic presentation.
Pic 3! ♥
Arts, tech. & funnies
National Portrait Gallery recieved first commissioned portrait of the Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton (artdaily.com).
And boy, did it come in for some stick! On the whole, we at chaz Tibbs didn't feel it warranted the criticism, after all, that is Paul Emsley's style, and that would (should) have been known beforehand, and that as she is now a "celebrity" like reality-royals Kimye it is being judged on the wrong merits—it was not expected to be a pin-up. Kate and Wills voiced their appreciation anyway, so give the artist a break.
Here's a behind-the-scenes video of the work in process (news.uk.msn.com).
Ha! That's one for those who still believe "real" artists don't use photo reference.
Damien Hirst did a makeover for the Brits statue (telegraph.co.uk).
"The design itself is unlikely to have taken Hirst too long. The normally metal statue of Britannia has been overhauled with polka dots—a motif already used by the artist in his earlier work."
A spot cliché?
Related story:
Busty beauty sells adverts on her boobs (metro.co.uk).
"Clients can advertise their products or events on one of her breasts for a bargain £5, with a special offer of just £9 available for both."
Kingston's 1TB USB 3.0 thumbdrive will cost as much as a car (wired.co.uk).
"Although a figure hasn't yet been set [for the 1TB stick] by Kingston, a 512GB stick that will launch in March will have a $1,700 (£1,000) sticker on it."
According to Kryder's Law (Wikipedia)—the storage version of Moore's law which suggests that the storage doubles in density every 13 months—with 64GB memory sticks on sale for today £20 (approx. $32), a 1TB stick should drop to around the same price in … 4 years, although Kryder's law generally considered to have proven to be outdated and be no longer viable.
Still, unless you must have the biggest of everything to compensate for something, I'd think seriously before investing in one of those just yet.
Catch snaps & stories for next month’s picks daily in latest picks.
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